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Stop coddling your children!


As long as there have been human beings on earth, there have been at least some parents who coddle their kids; indeed, among such peoples as the Inuit, among whom child mortality has historically been especially high, infants have led a pampered life though of course, that is changing as more and more of them gain access to modern medical care.
 

Today, many parents coddle their children in order to feed their self-esteem, which has been the focus ofchidlren’s lives at least since 1969, when the late Nathaniel Branden published his bookThe Psychology of Self-Esteem. 
 
Parenting all of a sudden became about how many times you can tell your kids that they are great and smart. Many became concerned that such praise hindered the development of adulthood for an entire generation; others claim that we empowered them just the same.
 
If you want to boost your kid’s self-esteem, you should do so before he or she turns five. Sometimes things are rough in kindergarten, in which case you should hope that elementary school will be better; and things go downhill once you have to give up nap time. Children gain a sense of self at an early age and tend to think highly of themselves.
 
Teens’ sense of self-esteem is essentially a collaboration between them, their parents and society. In free, individualistic countries like America, it derives largely from a sense of control, while in Eastern societies, conformity is the key. Even praise can hamper a child’s motivation, and it is common for praised children to misbehave intentionally to “fight back.” 
 
Conditioned to think that they are so smart, they are likely to give up when they do badly in school. Children should be praised for having done something specific like achieving an A on the last test rather than for being smart. Finally, of course, there can be no coddling allowed during childhood.
 
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